


Fan Club

by SuperPsychoNutcase



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: All kneel to the Bitch Queen, Bustier's Class, Insults galore, Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed, Mistakes were made, New Student, Salt, half deaf oc, like the saltiest, long may she reign, please stop me, so much salt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29017932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperPsychoNutcase/pseuds/SuperPsychoNutcase
Summary: The president of the Jagged Stone fan club comes barreling into Francois Dupont.
Comments: 32
Kudos: 399





	Fan Club

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an excuse to throw some shade. Feel free to take these ideas and run with them should you find yourselves inspired. Just let me know so I can read it. :3

Lada Kuznetsov was the biggest Jagged Stone fan, hands down. In fact, she was the president of the Jagged Stone fan club and created a website dedicated to the rockstar. She knew everything there was to know about Jagged Stone down to his favorite fruit and color (dragonfruit and purple). His birth name? Jared Stanton. Favored pets? Reptiles. Preferred vacation spots? Paris, France and Memphis, Tennessee: the birthplace of Rock n’ Roll. 

When she wasn’t updating her fan site, she was correcting articles about the man. Lada was the ultimate Jagged Stone fan and she challenged anyone who dared to say otherwise. She held her title as the Jagged Stone fan club president with utmost pride.

So one could only imagine the hysterical laughter she emitted when some sausage haired, fake ass, never-worked-a-day-in-her-life bitch told her straight up that she had gotten tinnitus saving Jagged Stone’s kitten from being run over by a plane and that’s why she needs a seat in the front. 

Let’s rewind a little. 

Lada was the product of a Russian medical chemist and a Parisian oncologist. Her mother met her father at a medical conference and they hit it off. They eventually married and her mother moved to Russia to be with her father. She struggled to learn the language, but her father helped her every step of the way. By the time Lada was in her pre-teens, her mother was as fluent as a Parisian could be. Unfortunately, their happy little family life was shattered to bits when mom walked in on her dear husband nailing Lada’s literature teacher in their kitchen. Mom and Lada packed up and moved back to Paris before the divorce papers were even filed. 

The girl herself was quite the slavic beauty. She had her mother’s raven hair that fell in waves to her thighs and a lithe figure that came from her dad’s genes. Her icy blue eyes and flawless pale skin did nothing to dilute her reputation as the Bitch Queen, long may she reign, that grew harsher after her father’s betrayal of her mother. Hidden beneath her lustrous curtain of hair was a hearing aid in her left ear. A fever from her childhood had damaged the cochlea and regulated her to a handicap status for life. At least she gets good parking.

Moving to a new school in the middle of the year was stressful enough, but moving into a city where a terrorist could make a bad day worse was even better (worse). Lada sucked it up, put on her big girl panties, and trekked into Francois Dupont to finally meet her new class with her shoulders back and head held high. 

Madam Bustier welcomed her with a warm smile. “Hello there! You must be Lada. It’s so nice to have you.”

“Yes, because transferring halfway into the school year is the definition of a great time. All that paperwork and catching up is so euphoric.” Lada’s deadpan tone seemed to shock those listening into silence. 

The teacher stuttered and struggled to regain her upbeat attitude. “Of course I’m sure moving to a new environment must be very stressful for you. Rest assured that everyone here is more than willing to provide you with help and support.”

Lada glanced over the heads of her new peers with little enthusiasm. “Stressful is one way to put it. So long as I don’t find you going to town on my mom like my dad did on my last teacher, we should be just fine.”

Bustier choked on her own air supply as many others gasped in astonishment. “W-W-Well, that won’t be much of a problem as I’m happily married. Please take a seat anywhere you like. Class will be starting soon.”

“So was my dad.” The girl whipped out a leaf of an official looking paper and shoved them in the teacher’s face. “By the way, I’m gonna need a seat in the front. I have a hearing disability in my left ear, so preferably on the left side of the room.”

Madam Bustier calmly took the sheet and skimmed over the doctor’s note. She seemed to brighten a little. “Of course! We have a student with tinnitus in the front row! I’m sure you two will be great friends. Adrien, you wouldn’t mind giving up your seat, would you?”

A blond boy that Lada recognized from Gabriel ads, Lord give her patience, flashed a sunny smile and made to stand up. “No problem.”

Scrawny tan arms wrapped around his side like tentacles. “But Madam Bustier, Adrien helps me with my studies. Surely Chloe could move to the back.”

“Like hell I’m moving my perfectly toned ass from this seat. Besides, the new girl said she needed a seat on the left side of the room.” A dolled up blonde snapped. 

The brunette pouted her lips. “But it would be unfair to make Adrien move so suddenly. Maybe she could sit behind me so she’s still close to the front.”

Adrien tried to pry her claws off the skin of his bare arm. “Lila really, I’m fine with giving up my seat for someone who needs it. Maybe you two can bond as deskmates.”

“I need a spot in the front. Doctor’s orders.” Lada intervened, her voice cool and emotionless. She turned to the teacher. “So who’s the one with tinnitus?”

“That would be me!” Lada’s frosty gaze fixed on the brunette with hair that looked too much like sausages for a girl who had a small breakfast and looked put out that her desk partner was leaving. “I contracted tinnitus in my left ear after saving Jagged Stone’s kitten from being run over by an airplane.”

… What?

Lada lifted a slender, dainty hand to tuck back her hair and fiddled with her purple hearing aid. Her eyes burned cold as they focused on the little liar. “Say that again. I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

Lila smiled, her eyes squinting with practiced ease. “I saved Jagged Stone’s kitten from getting run over by an airplane. The plane’s engine backfired and I got tinnitus in my left ear. He felt so grateful that he wrote me a song.”

An auburn haired girl behind her beamed with excitement. “Lila is so amazing! She’s practically Jagged Stone’s niece!”

Her other classmates would have joined in fawning over the bashful brunette had the new girl not started laughing. Full bellied laughs paired with tears streaming down her face. It was a stark difference from the cool, collected persona she had walked into class with and the change was enough to shock even the most outspoken into silence. One of Lada’s arms clutched her belly while the other slapped the teacher’s desk repeatedly as she tried to collect herself. Eventually her laughter did die down as malicious glee rose to the surface as she prepared to rip into this lying twat. “What a load of utter bullshit. You wanna lie to me again?”

The bespeckled girl jumped to her feet with a fierce glare behind the glass. “Excuse you! Lila is not a liar!”

“Lie-la. Apt name.” Lada strutted her 5 '7 slavic beauty self up to the desk and slammed her hands down on the surface to hover over the sniveling pig sow who dared to lie about her idol. “I wonder if your ass is jealous of the shit that just came out of your mouth? Your brain must be as small as your tits if you thought that I would fall for a bullshit story like that.”

A collective inhale sounded louder in the small space. Bustier’s throat was emitting a faint screech as she gasped at the audacity of such a statement. The only one who didn’t seem affronted was the blue eyed blonde who called a childish ‘ooh’ at the insult. Lila gaped at the bigger busted girl with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. She felt a twinge of self consciousness at her tiny A cups, tinier than Dupain-Chengs modest B’s. Bitch was half asian and had the fucking nerve to have a bigger chest. She told herself that she was just a late bloomer and still had time to grow. 

Lada watched the flicker of emotions in those olive green eyes as they finally settled on an imitation of hurt. “W-Why are you being so mean? I’m not lying!”

She cackled, “Does it look like I was born yesterday? Anyone with two brain cells to rub together would see you for the pathetic little, fork tongued attention whore that you are. Or at least anyone with access to the internet, which they do if they have a phone. Honestly, anyone who believes in the complete bullshit you just spewed from that thin lipped, sewer mouth of yours are future mindless cult recruits that will inevitably meet their end at the bottom of a plastic cup.”

Insulted shrieks erupted from the students as the rose as one to defend themselves and their messiah. The plaid wearing brunette was the most vicious. “Who do you think you are walking in here and calling Lila a liar?”

“Someone with a functioning brain.” Lada answered flatly. 

A tall asian boy with more muscle than brain matter rushed to Lila’s side. “Are you calling us stupid?!”

The bespeckled girl pointed her finger right into Lada’s face. “Where’s your proof that she’s lying!”

“Get that finger out of my face or you’re going to lose it.” Lada’s voice was like icey knives skimming over fragile flesh and Alya yanked her hand back. “And if you want proof of her lies, all you have to do is listen to her talk. There are so many things wrong with her story that it’s not even funny. First off, I have a hearing disability. A really nasty fever damaged the cochlea in my left ear. I have seen many professionals in my life and other people who suffer hearing loss. I can tell you with 110% accuracy that there is no way this bitch could have contracted tinnitus from a single encounter with a jet engine. People develop tinnitus after years of constant exposure to loud sounds. If a single jarring noise were enough to get it, everyone would have tinnitus. Secondly, if she had supposedly saved a kitten from being run over by an airplane, that must mean that she got really close to the engine. Without proper ear protection, that would have blown out her ear drums. She wouldn’t have tinnitus, she’d be deaf. Thirdly, there is no way in hell that anyone would have allowed a child anywhere near the tarmac and she would have had to have snuck past multiple employees and checkpoints to get so far. And finally, Jagged Stone doesn’t have a cat. Never has, never will. He doesn’t like them and his manager of just over a decade is allergic.”

Lila leaped to attract attention before anyone could pull out their phones to check the validity of Lada’s speech. “That’s not true! Uncle Jagged does have a kitten and he is the sweetest thing! You just don’t know him like I do!”

The new girl grinned savagely and leaned forward, using her height to her advantage. “You’re talking to the president of the Jagged Stone fan club. I spend my free time correcting articles that get things wrong about him. I may not know him personally, but I’d bet my limited edition Jagged Stone electric guitar that you don’t either.”

Gulping in true fear, Lila put on a facade and tried to garner pity from her classmates. She cupped her right ear and mimicked pain. “Ah! Could you not talk so loud! My tinnitus is acting up! It’s making my ear hurt!”

Lada only smirked. “I thought you had tinnitus in your left ear.”

“I do!” Lila insisted with teary eyes.

Her smirk grew wider. “So why are clutching the right one.”

Green eyes flashed with realization and then fury. Her grimace wobbled as she tried to maintain her mask of pain and Lada saw through it all. “I have it in my right ear, too!”

Lada barked out a mocking laugh. “I'll just bet you do.”

Lila opened her mouth to begin the process of painting this newcomer as a bully only to snap it shut at the sheer malevolent delight in those ice blue eyes. Lila forced herself to speak anyway. “Are you bullying me for my disability? What kind of person are you?!”

“Me bully you for a hearing disability?” The girl cackled. “Did you know that it is illegal to fake a disability for preferential treatment in school? The punishments include expulsion, fines, and even jail time if you had the gall to forge a doctor’s note. I don’t know how long you’ve been pulling this bullshit, B-rated horror flick act of yours, but this school should sue your flat ass for all that it's worth. Lucky for you, it might not be worth it. I think the bare minimum is €5.”

Bustier finally stepped up in an attempt to diffuse the situation. “Miss Kuznetsov, that is quite enough out of you.”

“Oh shut your trap, you pathetic waste of a teaching degree.” The redhead’s jaw dropped at the sharp address. “You should get that box dyed, lily white ass of yours sued too with your poor mishandling of this bullshit liar. Did you even ask for a doctor’s note or check her medical file before catering to her whining? Have you spoken to her parents?”

“My mom is a diplomat! She’s always so busy. I wouldn’t want to bother her.” Lila was panicking and trying to think of ways to salvage the situation. She needed to get this girl kicked out of school or she could kiss her reputation goodbye. 

Lada chuckled humorlessly. “A diplomat? I wonder how the embassy would feel about one of their employee’s kids breaking the law.”

Ire sparked, Lila quipped back. “I have diplomatic immunity.”

Lada looked all too happy, maliciously so. “You wanna bet? Diplomatic immunity only excuses so much. There’s also the fact that you’re slandering a world renowned rockstar by claiming he wrote a song for you. You really think the embassy is gonna cover your ass when they find out that you’ve been lying about being handicapped to get special treatment? Don’t make me laugh. They’ll throw you under the bus faster than you can compose some fake ass apology for your disgusting behavior, and you’ll probably drag Madam Bustless down with you.”

Bustier squeaked and pointed at the door with a slighted scowl. “To the principal’s office, Miss Kuznetsov!”

The girl peered over her shoulder with a nonchalance that bordered on boredom. “Sure thing. While I’m there, I will happily report you for your misconduct in allowing a student in your care to lie about a disability to sate her whims all while sexually harassing a known model. Don’t think I didn’t miss how she was plastering herself to his side like some kind of leech. I can only imagine how good that will look on both of you.”

Caline’s face paled and her knees buckled so bad that she collapsed into her chair. Everyone save a spare few were screaming at the newcomer, accusing her of being a heartless witch among other things. Lada stood there and took it all with uncaring neutrality on her face. Chloe was enjoying the show with Sabrina by her side while Adrien looked eager to find a way to make it stop. 

Suddenly, a girl threw herself through the doorway with a feminine wail that drew attention away from Lada. The slavic girl turned to see a tiny waif of a girl with raven hair and bluebell eyes panting as she climbed to her feet. “I’m on time! I promise!”

Something about the young lady tickled Lada’s memory. “Are you a model?”

Marinette let out a tiny eep, shaking her head in denial. “Me? A model? Don’t be silly! I could never sit still long enough to have my picture taken.”

“An actress then? Social influencer? I swear I’ve seen your face before.” Lada knew she had. She just couldn’t remember where.

The bluenette shrugged. “Acting is more Myléne’s thing, but my account has been getting a lot more followers recently.”

“Marinette!” Adrien latched onto the now red faced lady. His words came out in a rush as he tried to maneuver the Everyday Ladybug and the newbie out of the room. Anything to cool his classmates’ tempers. “So glad you’re here! We got a new student today. Maybe you should, show her around the school.”

It clicked. Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She was in an article a while back that praised a fifteen year old as Jagged Stone’s new designer. In an interview, the rockstar had nothing but good things to say about her and rained compliments aplenty on her creative and unique style. The journalist had gone so far as to find her social media accounts and reported that the young designer had a broad spectrum of styles outside of the punk rock she did for Stone. 

Lada abandoned her cruel, icy demeanor in favor of adoring and fawning over the much smaller girl. “Oh my god! It’s you! I can’t believe it’s you! You design for Jagged Stone! Holy shit, I can’t wait to post about this!”

Alya took Lada’s immediate liking to Marinette as a sign of collaboration. “Marinette, did you put this girl up to this?”

Lada pinned a nasty glare at Alya. Marinette just looked confused. “Put up to what?”

“This girl walks in here and starts spewing this bull about Lila being a liar! I know your jealousy can get the better of you sometimes, but…” She was cut off.

“And just what would Marinette Dupain-Cheng have to be jealous of from that lying tart?” Lada snapped harshly, her finger pointed at Lila who was using the diversion to try and think up a new lie. “She’s a designer that works for Jagged Stone and owns an online business that has gotten her over 300,000 followers. All that bitch has is a shit load of lies and empty promises. Lie-la only wishes she was like this girl right here!”

The girl in question was blushing under the praise. Madam Bustier, recovering from her meltdown, saw a chance to pair her good example with the new troublesome student. “Marinette, could you show Miss Kuznetsov around the school. You can afford to miss a class and I wouldn’t want our new student to get lost on her first day.”

Lada snorted, but Marinette was all too happy to escape the tension. “I don’t mind! Come on, then. I’m Marinette. What’s your name?” 

The slavic beauty bounced out after her. “I’m Lada and I love your work!”

The door closed and the bell rang. Bustier took a few deep breaths to center herself before clapping her hands once to grab attention. Her voice held a slight warble as she set the class to their tasks. “Alright everyone, feel free to discuss the chapter you read over the weekend in pairs for fifteen minutes and then we’ll talk as a class.” She couldn’t teach just yet. She still needed time.

No one was talking about the book. Lila was holding a small court as she took Lada’s confrontation and ran with it to the best of her ability. “I guess I have to confess now. I did lie about knowing Jagged Stone. I just heard about how Marinette and all these things she did and I got really intimidated learning I’d be in her class. I just wanted to be as special as her.”

What Lila didn’t know as she was trying not to gag on her own words was that while Alya showed sympathy and forgiveness, not everyone else was feeling so generous. Most of them had pulled out their phones and did a quick fact check while Lada had been tearing into Lila. Those like Alix, Kim, Nathaniel, and Nino were upset at being lied to and fooled so completely. Others like Myléne, Ivan, Rose, and Juleka didn’t know what to think as they listened to Lila’s sob story. Was she lying out of a desire to fit in, or was there more lurking beneath the surface. Marinette designed for Jagged Stone. She knew him. Of course she knew Lila was lying off the bat. How could they have forgotten that when she warned them the first time? And what was the deal about Lila’s supposed tinnitus, they had to wonder. Did she really have a hearing disability? If not, why would she lie about that? It was illegal to fake a handicap and the punishments far outweighed the benefits if you got caught. The permanent mark on your record wasn’t worth it, neither were the fines, community service, or blow to the reputation.

Suddenly, Lila didn’t seem so glamorous anymore.

And Lila could feel their loss of interest. 

She had to get rid of that new girl if she had any chance of reaffirming her hold on the class. But she couldn’t just make her leave, oh no. Lada needed to look like the biggest baddie they had ever encountered. Lada needed to be sent packing with her tail tucked between her legs and her reputation shattered. Lila needed to make her look like the worst of the worst if she was going to make her look like some bitch stalker Marinette contracted to transfer in and attack Lila. 

Once Lada was gone, Marinette would then pay dearly for her embarrassment. 

That’s how Lila found herself sneaking into the home ec room to steal one of the cooking knives during lunch. Apparently, the latest item on the syllabus was apple pie and the smell from the last class lingered in the air and made her stomach grumble in hunger. In her rush to plant the knife on Lada just so she could get to eat made her impatient. She stumbled into Madam Mendeleiev and was barely able to hide the knife from view. Even managing to hide the knife, Lila still faced heat for being in a part of the school she wasn’t meant to be and was given detention despite the waterworks she conjured. Under threat of another detention atop the first, Lila made a hasty retreat cursing the science teacher under her breath. Perhaps after Lada was gone she would get Mendeleiev fired. Served her right for not believing her stories. 

Lila ended up missing lunch and was very grouchy as she sat through class. The chance to plant the knife that weighed heavily in her bag never occurred as Lada always kept her knapsack close to her person. She sat in the back with Maribrat, so she couldn’t drop it in on the way to the front. When Lada did leave it, Marinette was there watching and Lila knew she would jump at the chance to call her out. It wasn’t until there were two classes left in the day that Lila was struck with the idea. A reversal of sorts. She would keep the knife in her bag and tell Bustier that she had seen Lada slip it in and threatened to frame her for plotting assault. It was perfect! She didn’t even have to be anywhere near Lada. And if Maribitch vouched for her, she’d just cry that Marinette was in on it to get her kicked out of school. Two birds with one stone. Lila gave herself a mental standing ovation for such a deviously cunning plan. 

During the break between classes, Lila made sure to go in the same direction as Marinette and her new shadow were going. The two were too deep into discussion to spot her, as far as she knew. She watched them enter a bathroom, waited a minute, and rushed back to Bustier’s classroom. Pinching the tender flesh of her underarm summoned enough tears to be convincing. Lila put on a timid visage and peeked into the door. “M-Madam Bustier. Can I t-talk to you?”

Predictably, the woman’s eyes softened with sympathy. “Lila, whatever is the matter?”

Mentally rolling her eyes, Lila warily padded into the classroom, biting her lip and casting looks over her shoulder for effect. “I… I don’t want to get anyone in trouble or anything, but that new girl is really scary.”

Blue eyes twitched in agreement, but Bustier smiled anyway. “Lada’s parents are going through a rough divorce. She’s just lashing out at the world and we need to show her compassion and understanding. Just give her time to cool down and I’m sure the two of you will be friends.”

*Yeah fucking right.* Lila shook her head violently and held out her bag. “You don’t… Lada isn’t a nice person! She cornered me in the bathroom! She forced a knife in my bag, and then she…”

“A knife?” Bustier’s voice reached a new octave as she realized just how serious the situation was. Lila inwardly smirked. “Tell me everything.”

It was too easy. 

As everyone was sitting down, Damocles stormed into the classroom with a very stern scowl on his face. He beckoned for Lada and Marinette and the two followed him to his office. Marinette groaned when she saw Lila perched on a seat looking like the very picture of a victim, teary eyes and all. Damocles ordered them to sit down. “Do either of you know why you were called?”

“No, but I assume you’re about to tell us.” Lada was completely at ease knowing she had done nothing wrong but get hiss with a teacher. The most Bustless could do was give her detention and she was probably too chicken shit to do it herself.

Marinette, on the other hand, knew that anything involving Lila was not so straightforward. “What has Lila accused me of this time?”

Damocles’ scowl deepened. “Miss Kuznetsov, you are facing a very serious accusation. Lila came forward and reported how you had cornered her in a bathroom with a knife and threatened to frame her with Miss Dupain-Cheng as your accomplice! What do you two have to say for yourselves?”

Marinette paled considerably. An accusation like that would ruin her. Lada only lifted an eyebrow in response. “That Lila is full of shit and you’re an idiot if you took her at her word alone, you pusillanimous bloated week old seal corpse that was bitten by a shark but left to rot because it could taste something was wrong with it lookin ass bitch.”

His face turned red as he choked down his anger. “Well I’ve already taken the liberty of calling in your parents! Let’s see how laidback you are when we start discussing your expulsion for threatening a student!”

Lada began picking at her nails. “Excellent. As soon as my mom gets here, I’ll ask her to call in my family lawyer.”

Damocles blanched at the utterance of the L-word and kept his silence. It was The Dupain-Cheng couple that arrived first. A big burly man rushed over to his daughter with his tiny wife trailing after. “Marinette! What’s going on? We got a call about a threat and a knife. We closed down the shop and rushed right over. Are you alright?”

“Do I have to teach someone some manners?” Madam Cheng’s voice was cool and level despite her tiny body radiating the fury of a protective mother.

Marinette kept her gaze low. “Actually…”

“This bitch is accusing me of assaulting her or some shit and dragged Marinette in it because she’s a fork-tongued liar and feels threatened by my presence enough to try framing me for a crime. Not the smartest move she’s ever made, I’ll bet. I guarantee there isn’t a scrap of evidence to back up her claims.” Lada piped up.

Both parents stared at the girl. Tom’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Are you one of our daughter’s friends?”

Lada gave a small smile. “More like one of her fans. I read about her work for Jagged Stone and I love her designs. She’s been hanging out and showing me around since I’m new here. For someone so famous, Marinette is super nice.”

The adults seemed appeased. Sabine was petting her baby’s head. “That’s how we raised her. So can you tell us why we’ve been called here?”

Before she could answer, the door opened again. Madam Bustier was leading in a porcelain skinned woman with hair the color of dark chocolate. Her tired gray eyes looked bleak paired with her drab blue scrubs. Her voice, though pleasant, was harsh and commanding. “There had better be a damn good reason for why you called me out of the hospital. I was about to start on a surgery.”

“Now that everyone is here, we can…” Damocles was cut off by Lada’s cold tone. 

“Uh, where is the lady that spawned that bitch? Shouldn’t she be here too?”

Lila started in on the excuses. “Oh, but my mom is a diplomat! I wouldn’t want to bother her with something like this.”

Sylvia Kuznetsov glared daggers at the principal. Lada had her eyes pinned on the liar. “What’s your point? My mom is a surgical oncologist. Marinette’s parents run a bakery that they had to close down to come here, which means they’re missing out on profits. Are you saying that your mommy’s job is more important than their careers?”

“I’d say being threatened with a knife is pretty serious.” Sabine was firm and irate. “I’m sure that girl’s mother would want to hear about this situation.”

Damocles caved under the pressure and reached for the phone. “I suppose you all have a point. Madam Rossi does have a right to know.”

Lila panicked and rushed to say something, anything, to keep him from dialing the number on file. “Wait! She’s in a really important meeting today! You can’t disturb her.”

Madam Kuznetsov had one foot turned to the door. “If you’re not calling in her mother, I see no reason to be here.”

Tom had his arms crossed, looking like an angry mountain as he glared down and the older man. “It’s only fair that all the guardians of the students involved should be called.”

Damocles nodded quickly and dialled in the number on the sheet. Not a moment later Lila’s purse began to trill out a generic ringtone. She paled and pulled out the phone. “Oh no! It seems mom and I got our phones mixed up this morning!”

“Convenient.” Lada enunciated slowly. “I guess you’ll have to call the Italian embassy to get ahold of Madam Rossi.”

Lila was looking sicker by the second as Damocles struggled through the search for the number and transfers under the hard stares of three parents that were none too happy about being made to wait. Finally the accented voice of a woman sounded from the speaker. “This is secretary Verona Rossi. May I ask who’s calling?”

“Yes, this is Principal Damocles of Francois Dupont. I’m calling about an incident concerning your daughter.” His words were rushed under the strain of being glared at by angry parents. 

Madam Rossi’s gasp could be heard over the phone. “Oh dear. She’s not hurt, is she? I’ll be over there in ten minutes.” She hung up before Damocles could reply. 

Sylvie was tapping her foot as they all waited silently in the tense room for Madam Rossi’s arrival. When she did come stumbling in, she rushed over to her baby and coddled her as if she had broken every bone in her body. Damocles coughed into his fist to gain her attention. “Now that everyone is here, let’s start with Lila and her account of what happened before the start of final class of the day.”

Pinching her underarm, Lila curled into her mother’s embrace. “It was horrible! Lada cornered me in the bathroom with a knife from the home ec class room. She put it in my bag and told me she’d tell everyone that I threatened to stab her if I ever got in her way to Adrien! Marinette stood at the door to make sure no one would come in and see it. I was so scared!”

Mother Rossi was glaring at the two girls with such ferocity that Sabine moved to stand between them. Damocles nodded sternly and gazed at the girls with disapproval. “That kind of behavior will not be tolerated here. I’m afraid I’ll have to expel you both and inform the police of your threat against Miss Rossi.”

Lada’s mother put a supportive hand on her daughter’s arm. “That’s it? That’s your investigation on a matter as serious as a threat of aggravated assault with a weapon? You didn’t even ask my daughter and her friend for their side of the story!”

Coughing in embarrassment, Damocles tried to explain his way out. “W-Well, the culprits would lie and say they didn’t do it.”

Sabine snarled, slamming her hand on his desk. “And the last time something like this happened, it turned out to be a misunderstanding.”

Tom leaned over his daughter and gave her an encouraging grin. “Marinette, did you and your friend threaten Lila in the bathroom?”

“No. We didn’t even see her in the hallway. Besides, we’ve only been near the home ec class once during her tour, but class was in session so we didn’t go inside. There wouldn’t have been a chance for Lada to grab a knife from there as I’ve been with her all day. Lada?” Marinette shot her new friend a look.

The girl in question nodded. “Let me just say that I would never threaten Lila. I’d just beat her ass on the spot. No warning. And she’d deserve it, too.”

Damocles whiteknuckled his arm rests. “That- That was completely uncalled for and grounds for expulsion!” 

Lada smirked devilishly. “So is faking a disability, but I don’t see you doing anything about Lie-la Rossi and her amazing jumping tinnitus.”

Verona’s glower faltered. “Tinnitus? What are you talking about? My daughter has a clean bill of health.”

Lada’s smile grew wider and her gleeful gaze met Lila’s. “Really now? That’s not what your crotch-goblin has been saying.”

“Hold on, now! Didn’t this girl say she had a lying disease?” Tom pointed at Lila with irate confusion. “How do we know she’s not lying about being threatened now?”

Damocles huffed and reached into a drawer to put the confiscated knife out for viewing. “How would you explain this then?”

Sabine was sneering at the man. “And? That girl’s pendant was found in Marinette’s locker, and an answer sheet in her bag! We know they were planted. Perhaps this girl’s disease made her find and grab the knife.”

“I’m sorry, but a lying disease?” Madam Kuznetsov cut in with a mocking laugh so much like her daughter’s. “There’s no such thing as a disease that would make someone go out of their way to plant evidence and lie about being assaulted. There’s mythomania, but that would make her a pathological liar. Though from the sound of it, she sounds more like a right psychopath the way she planted evidence of wrongdoing and portrayed herself as a victim.”

Sabine was leaning over Damocles’ desk. “Did you even check the cameras? Didn’t you learn from your mistake last time?”

Madam Rossi’s whistle made everyone turn their heads to look at her. She appeared less the avenging mama bear and more a merciless politician as she stared at her pale daughter with a coldness that rivaled the arctic seas. “Just a quick question; has the school ever been closed down for an akuma attack?”

Damocles silently processed her request. “Uh… nothing longer than a few hours. Sometimes students will leave early or come late, but our teachers keep in touch through the student’s emails.”

Verona Rossi’s eyes sharpened. Lila curled in on herself. “That’s funny. My daughter spent two months out of school because the principal had been akumatized and had the faculty under his control.”

That startled a laugh out of him. “Don’t be ridiculous! No akuma has lasted longer than a few hours! Ladybug and Chat Noir are capable heroes that handle each threat quickly and decisively. I couldn’t imagine how bad things could have gotten without those two protecting our city!”

“I see.” Verona grabbed her daughter’s wrist and made to leave. “Go ahead and drop whatever complaint Lila has filed. If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to take my daughter home. She has quite a lot of explaining to do.”

Lada wiggled her fingers at Lila who was far too dazed to react. Marinette watched her arch-nemesis leave with no small amount of satisfaction. 

Sylvie threw up her hands and stormed for the door. “Thanks for wasting my time! I’ll see you at home, Lada!”

Tom and Sabine kissed their daughter goodbye and invited Lada to join them at the bakery any time she liked. Damocles dismissed them from his office looking very much like a broken man. Marinette checked her phone once they were past the door frame. “There’s only like five minutes left of class. Not much point in going back. You just wanna join me at the bakery? I’m working on a new suit for Jagged and I wouldn’t mind some feedback from an expert.”

Lada’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Hell the fuck yeah!”


End file.
